Empty coke bottle, syringe wrappers blowing in the wind.
I sit and watch as junkies stagger past, either stoned or hanging out; morphine stare or desperate for it.
I live in a daze as people die around me; fast or slow, I’m not sure which is worse. Nadia vomits raspberry soft-drink in a bilious puddle, pale and drawn out of her mind. Shane struts; he’s off the gear right now, but only for a while. Money talks and bullshit walks.
I hear the furious call of an ambulance, racing to help someone who doesn’t want to help themself. I remember watching a body tumble from the sky, twirling in the wind like a screaming kite, hitting the ground like a dying swan, limp and rigid at the same time. Burst open for the entire world to see.
I wonder if any of it is worth living, worth dying for.
I sit and feel the same as I always do. I want to score, I need to score, and I want to score again. Life as a junkie is life in a circle; stoned, not, stoned, not; locked up, not, locked up, not.
Aren’t we always locked up, locked in?
Locked in the cycle, locked in the desire, locked in the need.
I feel locked in, locked up, locked out…